Working Through Fear To Reach Your Dreams

Hiya Wild Knights! Anyone a Tim Ferris fan?

I recently ordered a copy of The 4-Hour Work Week, and have been picking it up when possible to see the treasures inside. One such treasure in the chapter “Dodging Bullets” is Tim’s “Q&A” section (Questions and Actions). The questions aim to get to the nitty gritty of all your worries stemming from doing that one thing many of us wish to do: Get out of the unsatisfying career or situation and make the leap into what we love.

Fear is a basis for inaction in many of our lives, I’ll agree based on personal experience. I’ve been putting off making moves from my current situation out of fear that I may scrape by in another place with even fewer resources and ultimately have to come back to square one (that was my answer to the first question, which was to describe the absolute worst case scenario if I quit my job tomorrow). However, if I view backpedaling as not being an option, what possibilities are left?

Brené Brown has made a revolutionary career from studying shame, vulnerability, human connection, and all the topics corresponding (Her famous TEDx, The Power of Vulnerability, is a must watch: Link). I think her insights are a highly relevant addition to the question of why I haven’t left a bad job and trusted myself enough to grow into the King of my own domain. For that matter, her insights are valuable for all of us when we feel stuck, so I’ll use this opportunity to be vulnerable.

Have you ever placed a stake into a possibility, charged full speed ahead, and totally crashed before the finish line? If you’re like me, licking those wounds isn’t fun, and you have done it more times than you care to mention. What makes it worse is when you have that one person who says “Not everyone is born with the talent,” or “You didn’t think THAT through, did you?” or maybe even, “I knew you’d be back! It’s a big, scary world out there, isn’t it?” (By the way, that was a real quote from a real person who I immediately had to correct in the most forward way for self preservation’s sake. Total sh*t fest.) That thing you feel after that experience could be labeled as shame, vulnerability, or a lack of proper human connection. It may be covered in a layer of anger or sadness, but it’s really something else. Look deeper, and, if you have experienced this recently, don’t forget to breathe and remember what’s in your heart.

Brené mentions the true meaning of courage in her talk, and the definition ties back to its roots in the heart. Heart is the real reason for those dreams you and I have, and nothing and nobody is worth forgetting what’s in our hearts. It’s important to practice compassion and love for yourself so it can spill over into every corner of your life, and one of those corners is that thing you’ve been putting off that scares you shitless, I’m privileged to say. Even if you had a bad run in the past, break down the reasons for failure and admit you learned something from the experience that makes you smarter and much more likely to succeed in the future.

Question 6 asked the reader what the costs of postponing pursuit of passions are, and it’s my favorite question for cutting the bullshit. I had to get serious about cutting the crap and evaluating what happens to my wellbeing when I wait to move to a new place, write an album, travel out of the country for an indefinite time for enjoyment, or whatever new mania is setting up shop in my imagination. Let’s face the hard fact here: the effects of waiting are ultimately far worse than failure.

Frankly, this is good news for everyone that squirms with discomfort, so let me make you flail a bit. If you value life, time, your health, progress, or, most importantly, what’s in your heart, you will try something new. You will get used to that discomfort right alongside me, and we’ll occasionally fall down, get dirty, and make memories and have the time of our lives if we value any of those things. And you know what? It might just turn out to be easier than you thought, who knows till you try?

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Blaze

PS. I haven’t finished all of The 4-Hour Work Week yet, but I highly recommend it based on the first couple chapters I’ve worked through.  Give it a shot!

 

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